Possible Reactions To Abusive Actions

All abuse will cause you emotional and other issues at the time of the abuse, the issues from the abuse can also follow you into your relationship, marriage, and even into your parenting. 

What can you do? 

The first thing you have to realize is that the once you are away from the abuser/s and with someone else that they are not the one who caused you the pain you are /had and/or are having. Many times even though we feel we trust the one we may currently be with, we could be secretly waiting for them to attack and hence cause us issues in that relationship due to our own fears. We become so defensive with them that we react to what isn't even happening at the time. That is not to say that we are crazy, but that our fears are not allowing us to enjoy being with someone and being happy. One may tend to be withdrawn more than one should be, one may also be overly clingy in fear of being left, there are so many scenarios that could cause us to subconsciously sabotage our relationships and our own happiness and relationships. We need to deal with what happened to us in order to have a healthy relationship with anyone in our lives be it a boyfriend/girlfriend, spouse, children or others. I know there are still times that triggers will bring back a memory or even a flood of memories of my abusers. It can be a simple word, a smell, a sound, someone looking like one of my abusers or even should I see one of them in public, that is not to say I run in fear because now I don't I can now see them and not panic, but it does at times cause a waves of inner emotions, but I am still able to walk and hold my head high in spite of their past actions. I mentioned it can cause issues in our parenting and you ask how is that?  Well if you ave unresolved issues and pain from the past it cause you to be less patient, more verbal and perhaps even using a higher pitch in your voice than normal,that is not to say you are abusing your children it just means you may need to take a minute and take a breath before continuing what you were doing at the time. It is better if you are having a flashback and feeling anxious to step back and calm down. Don't let your reactions to cause you to do a negative action be it verbal or otherwise. tcc