Abuse know no social boundaries, it can happen in low income families as well as middle class and upper class families. Abuse is an enemy that "seems" to but doesn't always come without warning, all things can seem to be wonderful and going well and then it all changes and we ask ourselves why didn't we see the warning signs., Many times we saw the warning signs but we didn't recognize them as such or maybe we did recognize them, but thought we could love the person enough to help them change or perhaps there were no warning signs at all. The depends on the individual abuser whether or not you will see and or recognize the signs. It can start off with him/her seeming jealous over people and things that they shouldn't, you spending time with family and friends, including your own children whether young or adults, it can even be you dressing nice to go to church. They may then also start making verbal digs at and to you such as telling you that your choices are stupid and/or hair brained, that you don't know what you're talking about no matter what it is. They may tell you that no one but them will ever love you that you deserve what they say and do. They may cry ans say they're sorry only to do it again over and over and over and each time crying and/or apologizing. They will blame you for their anger, their pain and their choices when in fact it isn't your fault. They will degrade and humiliate you alone and in front of others ( if they become bold enough) many abusers are hiders they hide what they are doing to you and they know that you too will hide and deny the abuse thinking you can love them enough that they will stop or because you are too afraid to tell others for fear for your life and your families lives and/ or from shame. We hide it for one reason or another, but then there has to come a day that we become strong enough to get us and our children away from them and stay away. Abuse is such an ugly demon and it affects both men and women. Yes there are men who are in fact not the abusers but the victims of abuse and they too need to know they can be survivors and get out. Actually in my opinion not enough is told about men being victims of abuse. We need to not categories all males as abusers and realize some of them are just like us victims when it happens but we can and are survivors after the fact. Learn and know the signs before it's too late and if you're already in a marriage/relationship where little the things he/she does is tugging at you that or the little things have already turned into larger an violent things, then please heed that warning you're feeling/seeing and seek help and support and when it's safe please get you and your children if you have any and get out. Trust me when I say you cannot love someone enough and be good enough to and for them that they will stop and change. Other signs of abuse: He or she may do one or all of the following to include but not limited to:
| Has a bad and unpredictable temper |
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| Hurts you, or threatens to hurt or kill you | ||||||||||
| Threatens to take your children away or harm them | ||||||||||
| Threatens to commit suicide if you leave | ||||||||||
| Forces you to have sex | ||||||||||
Destroys your belongings
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