Women Are Not The Only Victims/Suriviors Of Domestic Abuse, It Can Also Include Men and Children...

According to statisitcs woman are not the only victims/survivors of domestic violence. It is reported that as many as 40% of domestic violence victims are men. That is nearly 2 of 5. 
Most men do not report the abuse as they aren't taken seriously according to studies.
Abuse can be physical, verbal and/or mental. It can also affect you in more ways than just physical. It wreaks havoc on you in so many ways and it can also affect your children even if they aren't being hit. It can cause your children some of the same emotional issues as the one being abused as you will read below.The physical of being hit can leave you with broken bones, bruises, and organ issues from the force of the hitting, the bruises and bones many heal, but the emotional affects are there long after the body heals if you survive  which I hope you do. The other physical/emotional/mental issues can cause vomiting, night terrors, night sweats, anxiety, panic attacks, bedwetting, withdrawing, brokenness in your emotions, uncontrollable crying when you least expect it, anger from you at others even when they haven't done anything wrong. The list goes on and on in how it can affect you, your mind, your body, your future relationships, your relationships with family and/or friends, etc can all be affected due to abuse. Please get out while you can. Abuse affects more than just you.
1-800-799-SAFE (7233), or 1-800-787-3224 (TTY).

Being Alone For A Period Of Time Is Much Better Than being Abused...

Being alone for a period of time is much better than being with someone who is abusive, yet many do not look at it like that. I know that for a a fact because I have been in multiple relationships in the past that were abusive and I stayed for multiple reasons such as I didn't want to be alone, I didn't feel I deserved better I didn't feel anyone could love me, I still loved the the person for who they were when we met not who they were when they began abusing me and I thought then that I could love them enough that they'd change and not hurt me, yet it doesn't work that way. You cannot love anyone enough to make them stop abusing you. It took me from that time I was 18 until I was 47 to realize that I'd rather be alone than to be with an abuser. I find now that I am alone and not in a controlling abusive relationship/marriage that I am happier, healthier mentally and spiritually. I have also learned that should God ever choose to send someone in my life that he will enhance the happiness I already have and not be my source of happiness. I was so insecure that I was also very clingy and needy and that in itself is not healthy for anyone. We allow the abuser to continue to abuse us if we stay and we are therefore their enablers if we do not try to get away from them and stay away. It isn't our fault they are abusers so that is not what I am saying, however it is our fault if we don't try to get away and stay away so we can be safer. There are situations where the abused has left and still been hurt and/or killed.It's so sad what one person can do to another, we have to stand up for ourselves and get away. Make a plan, get s support network of others to help you get away safely. I know it's hard being a lone at first but trust me once you break free and are safe you will be so glad and you will probably ask yourself later , Why did I wait so long? There are hotlines and support groups that you can contact for help as well. I have some listed on one  of my other posts on this blog, please take time to write them down.

Victims/Survivors Aren't Asking For What They Get, Nor Are They Stupid etc

Just for the record, a victim and/or survivor of abuse doesn't stay in an abusive relationship/marriage because they like the abuse, nor because they are stupid, selfish etc. Many times and usually each time it is out of lack of self esteem due to the abuser building them up only to tear them down, fear of being alone, fear of not being able to provide for themselves due to the constant words of the abuser telling their victim you aren't worthy of anyone else, no one else would want you, you are damaged goods, you can't do it on your own, you are worthless, unworthy, and so much more until you begin to believe what they are saying is true,. yes in my opinion it is a form of brainwashing of the victim and the abuser uses the victims vulnerability to their advantage. They also disconnect them from family and friends making them believe things that simply aren't true. So please don't be as the abuser and say such negative things about and/or to the victim and/or survivor who has already gotten out. Unless you have been in that situation you can not understand the way the abuser works nor why the abused stays so long. Rather than judge the abused as being stupid, weak, etc have compassion without enabling them or the abuser. yes if you are being abused you have to make the choice to get out, yes it can seem impossible to do, yet you can do. It's about choices of taking back your life and not letting the abuser keep control, Get yourself and your children (if you have any) to safety asap. You are stronger than you realize, you just have to stop believing the lies of your abuser. Stop allowing them to control you, your thoughts, your emotions and you life. Make a safety plan to get ouot, keep that plan to yourself and those who can/will help you and that will not sneak and tell your abuser. Believe and know that you can get out. So to those who judge those of us who have been abused and/or those who still are being abused know that we are not stupid, not deserving of the abuse and that we don't ask for the abuse when we stayed. To those being abused know you are worth more than the abuse you are going through. tcc

You Don't Have To Live Your Life As A Victim, Even If You've Been Victimized

You don't have to live your life as a victim, even if you have been victimized. You can choose to start living as a survivor and be happy in spite of the horrible things you have gone through, be it things inflicted by others or by yourself. We have to choose to move forward and not live in our past even if others want to remind us of our pasts. The thing is they sometimes forget they have their own past and own stories of being a victim, be it of a abuse, violence, self inflicted via cutting, obesity, drugs, etc. We need to find the positive even in the negative in our lives in order to stop living as a victim. We need to let God of the anger, hurt and pain, yes it will try to rear it's ugly head in our thoughts and daily lives, but we need to control it not allow it to control us. Give yourself time to heal, yet do not stay in that time of anger, hurt and pain... Use what you went through to help others to know that they too can be survivors of their past and present in many cases. Becoming a survivor is a choice that will make such a difference in your life, so that you can be happy in spite of the bad that has and/or is happening. If you are in an abusive situation please make plans to get out as fast and safely as you can. Make the choice to have a better life for you and your children if you have any. Become victorious by becoming a survivor and not continuing to live as a victim... Know and believe that you deserve better including if you are self inflicting yourself with abuse of any kind. Choose to get help and to live without that as a part of your life.

Abuse Affects You In More Ways Than You Most Would Think

Abuse affects you in more ways than you most would think, it can affect you mentally, physically (be it actually hitting you or physically in that you become sick vomiting, pains etc from the abuse even if not being hit), emotionally, mentally, spiritually, etc It wreaks havoc on you in so many ways it can also affect your kids even if they aren't being hit. It can cause them the same pains as above. It can also affect your relationship with your children/family if you stay and stay they can come to resent you and in some cases hate you and disrespect you because you didn't respect yourself enough to get out and stay out. The physical if being hit, it can leave you with broken bones, bruises, and organ issues from the force of the hitting, the bruises and bones many heal but the emotional affects are there long after the body heals if he/she doesn't kill you first. The other physical/emotional/mental issues can cause vomiting, night terrors, night sweats, anxiety, panic attacks, brokenness in your emotions, uncontrollable crying when you least expect it, anger from you at others even when they haven't done anything wrong. The list goes on and on in how it can affect you, your mind, your body, your future relationships, your relationships with family and/or friends, etc Abuse affects more than just you....  Trust me it can and does happen in the above ways I have described.  tcc Revised version

Not All Abusers Are Spouses And/Or Boyfriends/Girlfriends

Not all abusers are spouses and/or boyfriends/girlfriends sometimes they can be strangers, family or friends and not all abuses is physical, I can be verbal, emotional or mental abuse. Abuse as you see comes in many forms and can be from anyone anywhere anytime so beware...

Do You Feel Alone, Insecure, Mislead, Hurt, Angry, Disappointed, Afraid, Dismayed, etc? If You Said Yes, You're Not Alone...

Do you feel alone, insecure, mislead, hurt, angry, disappointed, afraid, dismayed, etc? If you I want you to know that you are not alone. There are so many more inn this world that feel as you do even when you feel you must be the only one feeling like that. Domestic violence knows no social boundaries, no economic boundaries, it can affect anyone in any country in any town and even in any church. It has no preference and no shame. Domestic violence is such an ugly part of our society today and has been for decades upon decades. It is sad that it happens so frequently and many if not all times the victim will try to justify the abuse as being something they said or did. I know I did the same thing every time I was in an abusive relationship/marriage. I made excuse after excuse after excuse instead of seeing it for what it was their angry being transferred through them via abuse to me and it's the same in you or situation as well if you are in fact being abused. We may give them reason to be angry but it in no way is an excuse for them to be abusive. Victims live in torment yet we have to choose to get out when can do so safely and we must choose not to return to that abusive person. You must think enough of yourself to know that you and your children deserve better. also by you or staying in the situation it sets your children up to be abused while there and/or to grow up to be abusive and/or in abusive relationships themselves. I realized this too late and by not only being in abusive relationships/marriages I set a very bad example for my children when I was. I have now been alone per se since 2007 vs being abused. That is not to say I will never be in another relationship/marriage it is just to say I'd rather be alone than abused. It takes courage to get out, but you have it if you dig deep within to find the courage and to get get support from others and to make a plan to get out of the abusive situation.