Victims/Survivors Aren't Asking For What They Get, Nor Are They Stupid etc

Just for the record, a victim and/or survivor of abuse doesn't stay in an abusive relationship/marriage because they like the abuse, nor because they are stupid, selfish etc. Many times and usually each time it is out of lack of self esteem due to the abuser building them up only to tear them down, fear of being alone, fear of not being able to provide for themselves due to the constant words of the abuser telling their victim you aren't worthy of anyone else, no one else would want you, you are damaged goods, you can't do it on your own, you are worthless, unworthy, and so much more until you begin to believe what they are saying is true,. yes in my opinion it is a form of brainwashing of the victim and the abuser uses the victims vulnerability to their advantage. They also disconnect them from family and friends making them believe things that simply aren't true. So please don't be as the abuser and say such negative things about and/or to the victim and/or survivor who has already gotten out. Unless you have been in that situation you can not understand the way the abuser works nor why the abused stays so long. Rather than judge the abused as being stupid, weak, etc have compassion without enabling them or the abuser. yes if you are being abused you have to make the choice to get out, yes it can seem impossible to do, yet you can do. It's about choices of taking back your life and not letting the abuser keep control, Get yourself and your children (if you have any) to safety asap. You are stronger than you realize, you just have to stop believing the lies of your abuser. Stop allowing them to control you, your thoughts, your emotions and you life. Make a safety plan to get ouot, keep that plan to yourself and those who can/will help you and that will not sneak and tell your abuser. Believe and know that you can get out. So to those who judge those of us who have been abused and/or those who still are being abused know that we are not stupid, not deserving of the abuse and that we don't ask for the abuse when we stayed. To those being abused know you are worth more than the abuse you are going through. tcc