"Your Choices of Anger; Don't Let It Control You, Instead You Must Control It"

Anger is something that we must all deal with. The way we deal with it is what makes or breaks us and others.If we allow our anger to take over as abusers do, then we are as they are and we risk hurting someone be it physical, mental, emotional etc.We can be angry and yet not hurt others or we can let our anger consume us to the breaking point and that is what an abuser does. They feel it festering up,  yet rather than dealing with it they let it deal with them and it is then it turns to hurting themselves or others. It's okay to get angry at injustices and other things but we have to be careful not to allow it to turn to abuse. Prayer is the most effective tool against anger and next is to get to the root of your anger and to stop the anger so you can to see why you are so angry whether you are the abuser or the abused. Many times abused men and /or women end up angry inside and find it hard to deal with the angry, but deal with it we must so that it doesn't deal with us.. It can be a vicious cycle, the angry abuser hurts the abused one and then the abused one becomes angry at the abuser and themselves. It is a cycle however that God can end if we allow Him too. we have to be ready to let go of the abuser and the anger we have. Most stay with an abuser because they feel they can love them enough for them to change, but we can't. I do believe God can change an abuser and heal the abused if they will allow Him too, however do be careful that abuser ha truly been delivered and not only acting as if he/she has changed. Let go of your anger and let go of your abuser.

You Are Not The Cause Of Their Violence Their Own Anger Is...

When you're in an abusive relationship remember that their violence against you isn't because of you, it's because of their own anger that they don't know how to control. There are many reasons for their abuse but their is no excuse and none are your fault no matter what he/she may say. If you are in an abusive relationship/marriage I urge you to get help and get out asap. Do not stay until it is too late to get out. tcc

"The Puppy Dog Syndrome"

"The Puppy Dog Syndrome" 
I believe many women/men who have been in or are still in abusive relationships/marriages have what I call "The Puppy Dog Syndrome" where we see what appears to be a hurting adorable loving man, much like an adorable loving puppy who seems to need us when in fact they are a biting breed only their bites are from their words and fists. We see them as the first and think, Oh I can help him/her because he/she has been hurt and needs me then we realize they aren't so adorable and loving, then we think, Oh it's alright because I can love him/her enough for them to change. Well sadly ladies and gentlemen you can't love them enough for them change especially when they don't want to change. They may have many reasons for the abuse they give out but in reality their is no excuse. They refuse to get help and are sure to blame you for their abuse many were abused themselves and /or saw their parent abused yet they choose not to break the cycle instead of breaking you and if they don't then you have to break the cycle of violence you are enduring by getting out safely asap. Do not let yourself get into The Puppy Dog Syndrome again. I did it over and over and it has cost me dearly and it nearly cost me my life and possibly that of my children more than once. Be wiser, choose wiser and be safe. tcc